I'm wondering because while at one point I thought I was feeling an effect from my meds, now I don't. And because jerkface pdoc said there's no med that helps for more than a few weeks for bipolar and depression stuff... this from the guy who doesn't believe in bp2, but he still has a hell of lot more education than I do.

I have to see him again in a few days, too. Couldn't ind another temp pdoc. I don't know how I'm gonna deal with being put down by him again. I feel like he's gonna notice I've actually gained weight despite my near-constant (and yes, I know, unhealthy) efforts to lose it and call me fat again. I regret eating dinner at all and I wish I hadn't waited to get rid of it.

And my little sister was making fun of me today for being able to fit in her old - smaller - bras.

I really wish I had a high enough pain tolerance to cut out all the fat myself. I would do it in a heartbeat and sew it up neatly, too.

I'm not even sure where I was going with this thread anymore...