I am now at the end of my tether. Not sure anyone can help but thought it was worth a shot. Every time I fall asleep I watch someone die either by killing themselves or murder. Sometimes it is someone I know sometimes it isn't. What is always the same is the detail. Even days later I can recall the screams, the struggle the pure horror of it all. Tonight I watched a small boy being murdered, his head bashed repeatedly agains a wall in an elevator. I can tell you in detail what it sounded like. Seeing something like this in real life would be a major trauma in itself. I've watched people being burnt to death, commit suicide in their car, even die in cola mine explosions.
I now no longer want to sleep again ever. But the rational part of me says stop it and go to sleep. My life has turned into a nightmare. As for where it stems from, 3 years ago a child died in my arms through a trauma. I resuscitated her and it ended well, but something happened to bring these memories back a week ago, just when the dreams started. Don't think it can be a complete coincidence.