Quote:
Originally Posted by adam_k
If you take him back you should set some ground rules. That he has to stop the abuse or you will leave and never talk to him again. A lot of abusive people will play nice and try to get you back in their life and say whatever they have to so you will believe they are different. Then when they get stressed or have problems you become their emotional punching bag or physical. Eventually you will lose all of your self esteem and feel like you deserve what he does.
You are better than that. No one deserves to be verbally and physically abused. If he cant get that he doesn't deserve you one bit.
The only way he is changing is if he never abuses you again. That should be your rule and have him agree if he wants you. That one more incident and things are over for good. If you keep tolerating his abuse and getting back with him, he will learn nothing and keep doing it.
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I am definitely making that clear in my next email to him. I am spelling out in black and white terms what constitutes abuse both verbal and physical and I am telling him that one slip up no matter how insignificant will cause me to leave and I will be out of his life forever. I'm going to take everything really slow too, as in we start off talking on the phone, move up to meeting in public (he doesn't have a car so he can't follow me home and he doesn't know where I live), etc. I'm going to trust my intuition on this and if I see any red flags the whole deal is off. I can't take my chances.