In my life I've experienced two very abusive marriages. I too set out rules to follow & they were followed during what they call the honeymoon stage. This is when they do & say whatever you ask just to get back into your life. In my opinion I don't think you should take this guy back until he's spent at least a year in intense therapy for all of his issues. Life is too short to waste on someone who hurts you. If he really, really loved you he would never hurt you. Love is not suppose to hurt! It sounds like this guy needs serious help. He needs to learn to love himself before he could even begin to love you the way you deserve.