I've had a strap-on used on me before

Anyway, fetishes IIRC are paraphillias and are normally chronic in nature.

The underlying concept in BDSM in my experience is that of psychological control and manipulation e.g. Is the whip about to lightly flick me between the legs or land hard across my back.

It's very easy to idealise fetish relationships, esp 24/7 ones, and to become sucked in easily.

It's also important to be aware of the underlying causes of a BDSM based fetish I.e. If your parents were overtly controlling in your formative years then you'd be likely to have unconsciously sexualised it, and for it to become a sexual fantasy later on when you reach sexual maturity.

For me personally I didn't find it healthy to keep perpetuating things in my relationship, as I found it was psychologically holding me back from dealing with and working through associated unresolved issues.