I hear you, RTS. Do you have an idea of what you need from H? Or from yourself? It seems so tense - you feeling betrayed but not telling him, him apologizing but having no idea what for, you acting stone cold around him, etc.

You might not be able to get him to change his feelings or opinions, but I'd imagine there's value in you not holding onto the disappointment and sadness that you feel. Maybe there's opportunity for clarification, seeing things differently, negotiating something that may feel more tolerable.