(((Ready))) It's so hard to be so sad with the person who is your partner in life. The one who we cling to when all of hell comes unglued...you should KNOW that he loves you. I am not saying you are wrong for not knowing, I am saying it just SUX that you don't...and I hate that you have to endure this feeling.

************TRIGGER WARNING>...gross talk of death**************





Went to church, got a call from my other niece...her brother and his wife had a 1lb preemie about a month ago. I did a campaign to raise them some money. Well, the baby took a turn for the very worst last night. At this point it doesn't look like our little Avery is going to make it. I am so heart broken for my nephew...he lost his dad in Feb, and this was he & his wife's first child. On another weird note...my crazy is acting up badly from this news. I keep seeing "little coffin" in my head. I know that I am creepy and grotesque for thinking this way. I hate that my mind does this, and I am picturing dead babies. Please don't think I am awful...I just can't tell anyone what goes thru my head as it's inappropriate...but I am being tormented by the image.