On a more general note, I do not get, AT ALL, the interest in DOING things together, sexually. I have never had that interest.

By way of comparison:

- I once went to a beading class and I did beading alongside some other women. We got together to do something together. That was great! But it was not sex. Not because they were all women, but because we got together with the express purpose of doing things together.

- I went to my first Meetup last week, and, again all of the participants were women, but it was not that that made it into "not sex". We were basically having a free, insightful, and outrageously helpful group therapy session, using a very specific method. It was great. But again we got together to do specific things together, with a shared stated purpose, and that made it into "not sex".

Sex, to me, is simply BEING with another person. Not DOING a number of interesting things together but simply BEING. I guess that is why I do not get how people look forward to doing things XYZ with their yet-to-materialize partner to be, or, how people select partners to fit a particular lifestyle. It even seems to border on "using a person" to me - say, when you are just being with a person, you are not using that person, but if you need the person to do things XYZ or help roleplay a certain fantasy, it seems like you are "using a person". That is what I do not get. But of course that I do not get it does not make it any less exciting for others who do.