Your wife sounds strong and well-centered to laugh such a thing off when you told her about this.
I wouldn't wish this on anyone, and I think you already realize you will be setting yourself up for much more heartache if you pursue it. Think of the family reactions if you did so.
I don't know what to tell you, other than to suggest you try to forget it. I know, I know, this is not what you want to hear, but there really is no happy solution to your situation. So sorry.
Patty