Hi there...

First post here. I have been dxed with BP1, GAD and Panic Disorder for 15 years. I recently experienced psychotic mania in April and last weekend...psychosis with NO mania or depression. I cry, and tap my feet, and rock and am super paranoid of people and feel like I'm going to explode from the inside out.

I was in the psyche ward 4 times in 6 months trying to get stable and meds straight. I thought I was there.

Last weekend my husband and I went on an overnight trip and I forgot my anti-psychotic med...geodon. I thought I would be fine for only two missed doseages and I was the first day. The second day I broke down at Chilis restaurant. I had to go to the car in the middle of lunch bc I couldn't hold it together.

The thing is...I have been somewhat stable since last hospitalization in May...(end of April.) I have not been manic or depressed.

So my question is...why the psychosis? I know my BP has worsened over the years to the point I can not work despite my attempts at stability through Pdoc, therapy, meds, support groups...you name it...I have tried it.

I just don't understand this new thing happening....except my life stressors have been through the roof.

I used to get away with looking absolutle normal. People were shocked when I told them I had BP. I am a good actor. But now...I definitely get 'crazy' looking and feeling. It's embarrassing.

Has anyone else experienced psychosis with Bipolar or do I have something else in addition? I do see things in a different light when i get like this. Like I looked at my husband and he seemed to be very different but familiar at the same time. I do not hear things but have a constant song running through my head, always a different one, a conversation, and tinnitus. Iright now the song is 'a devils haircut' by Beck! also am very forgetful and spacey but I've been that way since childhood.

Thanks for reading this. Just trying to get some help. I have moved and don't have a new Pdoc or therapist and won't for a month or so. So I thought I'd throw this out to the forum here. Thanks and I'm sure glad to be here.