Today is much of the same. I have only one klonopin to hold me over and I already took half. I feel horrible. I almost want to tell my husband he has to take me to the ER right now before I do something totally stupid. But I can't do that. Hospital doesn't matter for bills just for him having a nervous breakdown. But if I show up to the pdoc tomorrow like this she will surely "recommend" (ie force) it. But I don't even care somehow I have to get through work without anyone noticing and somehow I have to make it through the day without hurting myself. I was hoping to take a nap while my son was sleeping but that's not happening. I woke up at seven and weeded the garden and too my son to the store and park just to get out. Now I am trapped. I know the feelings can't hurt me but the thoughts can. I don't even know what's going on in my head. Images of zombies rushing to kill me when I close my eyes. Thought a car was following us home. Noises of babies crying and horns playing in my head. Enough to make me open my eyes and wonder if I heard it out loud but I didn't.

I need help. I just need to get to the pdoc. Maybe she can give me some more klonopin to zonk me till the celexa is Gone and out of my system.

I don't think I am staying out of the hospital for this biut I am gonna try.