I am certainly understanding of the idea of living with adversity in a relationship. My exH and I were rarely on the same page, and it did make for a very stressful household. I ended up distancing myself from him and becoming self-protective. When I think back to the times when our views differed so much, I knew it was pointless to even try to work through it with him. He wasn't capable or willing.

I've learned so much in group T about healthy communication, negotiating to get our needs met, etc. - yet when I think back to my marriage, I know that it would not have worked. It felt too dangerous to open up emotionally with him.