Quote:
Originally Posted by Syra
Except for the sexual and romantic feelings, the same thing happened to me. As best I can tell, the hugs and holding meant more to me than she intended. She didn't say that. but it's part of the narrative I've developed to put the pieces together in a way that makes sense (she won't talk to me, much less own her part in it all). And then she dumped me when I got too dependent (or something. not sure why, but I overwhelmed her somehow).
I think the only hugs that are inherently wrong are ones that come from sexual feelings, or which touch parts which elicit sexual feelings - in either person. But I agree with the above who said that whatever the hug, and particularly if things are getting wonky, the meaning of the hugs should be discussed. The hugs should be supportive, and not create dependency either. Can't know that wihtout talking about it.
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Maybe I was overly sensitive, but in light of my erotic transference of her the hugs did elicit sexual feelings. The hugs caused me to feel both of her breasts pressing tightly against my torso. I would then be distracted between sessions, wondering why she hugged me like that, does she know the effects the feel of her breasts have on me???? Throughout the sessions I wanted to stop talking and make out with her and kiss her breasts. ( I'm sorry that this is graphic, but that's what happened.)