I guess you're right about me wanting to be her. That is actually the biggest thing I regret in my life at the moment. When I would talk to him, I always feared that I would say that I liked him. Fear prevented me from saying that. And I guess it's fears fault. I always feared that if I told him how I felt, he would laugh at me. But I guess things happen for a reason. All of my friends say that I could do better as he is 2 years younger than me. I can't help but get this feeling that I wanted to say something in my dream, but fear stopped me from talking. I still can't get over him and its been almost 8 months now. I just don't know what's wrong with me. All I know is, that next time I like someone, I'm going to tell him how I feel! As for my grandma, I haven't really talked to her about this subject. I just really hate how I feel everyday about one stupid decision that I didn't make