I always knew I disassociated but only since starting therapy did I realize how much I actually do it.

I've only had a few sessions of therapy and I'm crazy about my T. I've told her about me disassociating and she asked me to tell her when it happens. I agreed. I've been doing it a lot in therapy, but I haven't gotten around to telling her. A couple of sessions ago my vision started to get foggy and I wanted to tell her that I was disassociating but as soon as I thought about saying it my heart started to beat so hard and fast and it almost felt like I was gonna go into a panic attack (something which I am very afraid of). So I stayed quiet and tried my best to stay in the room and not 'switch off'. When I disassociate I am pretty functional, I'm just not very responsive. I don't know if my T can tell that it is happening. I want to tell her that it is happening but what's stopping me is the intense feeling of panic when I'm just about to tell her.

Has anyone ever experienced anything like this? How did you deal with it?