I'll keep it short. Its not about self harm with relation to feeling pain and enjoying it, as is normally the case. I have been home now for 2 days after spending 2 days fighting for my life in hospital. I hit a new low and basically emptied the contents of my medicine cabinet and supplemented it with a bottle of scotch. I'm still in pain, can't really hear much any more and light hurts my eyes. It sucks...