That is scary. I had the same types of images after I had my daughter.

The interesting thing for me was my counselor at the time told me to start writing it all down. I was so afraid to write it down in case someone would read it and then take my daughter away.

After I decided in my mind that I needed to write it down every time I thought it (I think this helps to make the idea more real . . . but then realizing it's NOT real) the thoughts went away.

It was really strange how that happened. It was like "OK, we're going to write this down and I'll have to tell my counselor about it each week." Once I told myself that it was like I was telling my brain. . .if you really want to entertain these crazy thoughts, then let's do it all the way. And poof they started to go away.

I still have a few thoughts once in awhile but I know I'd never do it now so I just ignore them and they go away.

Sometimes if I'm really stressed though I don't like to see knives laying around. I have to put them away because I have this thought of "what if I hurt myself or someone with it."

But once at work I had a knife on my desk and I forced myself to leave it there all day long. I was battling the thought and not letting it "win" and that was a huge turning point for me.

There is a book called. "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" which an old counselor had me read and it describes watching the thoughts go by like they're floating on a river, and are no harm to you. It helped a lot!!

I'm glad you were able to write these thoughts out. That in itself really shows you are trying to get better. And someone that was really going to do that would not take the risk of writing it out, know what I mean?

Take Care.