I think you are protecting yourself with some numbness maybe? I sure understand the feeling. My younger son recently began reestablishing a relationship with me. He had been covert with the Army for 7 years and rarely knew where he had been much more where he was..and nary a phone call during that time. It IS an awkward feeling yep.

Obviously you gave him something he knows he misses. I hope this continues, and you will be invited to his wedding and in on all the grandkids