There are plenty of online therapists; I think DocJohn has a link to some on the home page here at PC.

I do understand the small town stigma, but suggest it's not worth your life to avoid getting help.

Taking meds for 30 days usually isn't long enough. And the longer you put off seeking help, the longer it will take to get you back to a stablized life, imo.

In the Psychotherapy Forum Index at the top is a listing of 10 Common Cognitive Distortions. You can begin with them if you are up to it... depression skews our thinking and tells us lies. Learning to combat some of that on your own will give you a heads start till you seek professional help, imo.

TC