Yes, Adam is right, in my view. What he is suggesting is that it takes your own
independence before you can be happy in a relationship that is mature and sharing.
Dependency is bothersome in a marriage, in my view. It takes strength to build a
relationship that is lasting, and being co-dependent or dependent just doesn't allow
for the full expression of freedom that one needs in any relationship.

(And I mean freedom in the sense that one has interests, abilities, hobbies, things
that one loves and enjoys.) It's the same thing as saying "don't put all your eggs in
one basket". No one can meet the needs of the overly dependent personality.

The answer is to grow emotionally, financially, and most of all, spiritually for fullness
of life and then share that with someone who is himself mature. The natural protective
and leadership qualities in a healthy man in a woman's life are two very beautiful things
when they are permitted to be used as loving and gentle qualities. And the natural caring, compassionate, and deep love of a healthy woman all make for a very successful marriage.

In one word, maturity is the key, in my view.