I either am self-destructive or just plain stupid.

My mood is worse. I got to see my T which was alll good - but at the same time it wasn't really beneficial. (Sigh)

Apparently it is the impression of some of my friends that I am being moody and depressive just to get attention. I resent it but there's really nothing to be done. I can't just "fix" how I feel ... can I?

The rest of them just want me to "smile" and think that will just make me feel better. It makes me feel worse. They don't want to know about how I really feel.

So I'm currently not in a good mood or mindframe and it really sucks.

I hate life.