Open eyes-
I am an old mother with young kids *chuckles*. My husband and I both work outside of the home. I even put in more hours than he does. I also wasn't looking for someone to dump on when I came across this friend. We were friendly acquaintances in high school and after FB was invented, we were friends there. He posted once about vomiting from stress and I sent him a private e-mail to notify him I did the same thing and I told him about the meds I took that help prevent me from vomiting. I expected no return response, perhaps a thank you, but that was it. Instead he started telling me his life story and asking me about mine. It was all an accident, really, but one I was very happy to have had up until a couple weeks ago.

You are right about how draining it must have been for him with me writing so often, I did write most week days and when time were tough, the weekends too. I read your response on my lunch break and thought of it on my drive home and you really did nail it. When his wife cheated on him this most recent time, it literally made me sick. I fell into a depressive state upon hearing the news because I was so sad for him. I also found myself unable to talk to him about it because I was so angry with her and had very little good to say and I felt he was at a very fragile state with his relationship and the last thing he needed was to hear what I thought about her and the situation because if he decided to leave, it needed to be a decision made solely by him, without my negative influence. So, yes, I didn't silence myself, I continued to talk, but I only talked about my own issues and almost never his because I simply didn't know what to do. Even when I talked about my own stuff, for the first time over I hid the reason for my depression- I didn't want to add any additional burden of my stressing over his marriage to stress him out. I thought I was doing the right thing, but now see I not only ignored his needs, I was like a 3 year in the next room when mom is trying to cook, shouting, "Look at me, look at me!" My poor friend. No wonder he had enough.

I also am doing much better. At first I was hurt, shocked, lost....The perma anxiety state I was in has been dramatically reduced. I only notice it when it peaks or when I'm trying to sleep. I have found breathing exercises when I'm at work and physical activity when I'm at home to be helpful. I haven't thrown up in about a week and can eat so long as I take acid reflux meds religiously. Now I'm trying to understand and to figure out what to do next- torn between wanted to find a new outlet and the fear of over-attaching and being hurt all over again. For now I'll focus on breathing, going through the motions of life, hoping I'll feel like I'm living again.