I can understand how you feel, I've been denied for disability and my first appeal was denied too. The next appeal is about a year away at this point...

I know what it feels like to lose (almost) everything - I lost most of my personal resources - I can't think straight, can't remember things from one day to the next; can't stand to go out in public, and I feel like crap all the time except for when I feel like garbage or I'm numb; my savings ran out last year and I have no income. I would have been on the streets except that my married kid & spouse let me live with them but it is a very difficult situation - they've told me they don't want me here, they don't talk to me - never ask how I'm doing or if they can help in any way - and are very controlling... living here feels like being in prison.

At the same time, I have my 'self' (even if I've sustained a lot of damage), I have a roof over my head, and although I'm afraid to hope much at all, there is some hope that my next appeal hearing with Social Security will go my way.

I think getting a lawyer to help with your disability appeal is a good idea, I've done some research and it seems like more people win their appeals when they have lawyers helping them. The good thing about disability lawyers is that most of them work on contingency - you don't have to pay them until you are awarded disability, then they get paid from your back award. There is a cap on how much they can charge, too, so you have protections.

I know it can be very discouraging to keep going, but I hope you can find a path that will take you through and out of this rough time you're going through right now. You will lose even more if you hurt yourself. Nothing stays the same forever, so you have some hope that things will get better.

Try to hold on and be strong for yourself, because you are worth it.