I have been separated from Steve for 3 years now. He is the father of my 8 year old son. We live about an hour from each other. Our time apart had been friendly and congenial. He paid child support and loves his son and my 10 year old daughter very much. Steve just spent a year in prison for a DUI charge. He started getting sick towards the end. He spent 34 days in their medical ward, but no specialists were ever seen. Upon seeing his GP, she immediately recommended a colonscopy. They found 2 malignant tumors, one at each end of the colon. He had colon surgery 4 week ago and now has a colostomy bag. The cancer has metasticized to his liver, and they are starting chemo in 1 1/2 weeks. He called me the other morning to say he was on his way to the local ER for intense pain. I found a ride and stayed with him for 2 days (first time I saw him in 3 years). I just got off the phone with him today. He was sobbing. Appears he had some blood in his catheter and alot of pain. The ER said he has a blockage and a UTI, gave him some more dilaudin, and did a CAT scan. The cancer is also in his lungs now. I told him my neighbor was giving me a ride their tomorrow. He screamed for me not to come. He says there is nothing I can do for him. I told him I just want to be there, but he insists that I don't go. Our kids are currently in foster care due to my recent hospitalizations. Steve asked that I call the local Children & Youth Services Monday to request an emergency visit with the kids for him. He wants to spend a few days with the kids before he gets much sicker. I really can't stand the thought of him being alone right now. He has a mom, 4 sisters, and a lot of friends. But, I should and need to be there......right???

Dee