Basically, without professional help, you need to explore other ways of seeing humanity in people. That you sense humanity is not bad per se; it is just that you need other ways to see humanity in people - other than by hurting them and then enjoying experiencing their vulnerabilities. there is a silver lining to what you describe. It just has not yet been revealed to you, so to speak. You will be OK, but I would recommend being honest with the mental health professionals. I would be stunned if your psychiatrist acts suprised when you tell him / her this.