No. I'm sorry that this is happening. I'm sorry that he's suffering also. But the "should" and "need" to be there sounds like guilt to me. Even though he is sick, he doesn't sound like the type of person you want your children to be around much, sorry, even if he is (one's) their dad.

What you need to decide is what is best for you and your children.

He's put this off, taking care of himself. They put chemo off for nearly 2 weeks, please take time to think about the situation more.

Your children are old enough to discuss this with them...both of them as it does affect the entire family. I would wait though, it does no good to scare them and have things turn out differently perhaps.

Do you have a T you can consult? I think someone who is IRL for you, and can gain a better understanding of the situation could help you more.

But please don't go out of guilt. Procrastination on his part does not constitute an emergency on your part. Try and gain the best perspective you can from this.