Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster
I see why you would feel so hurt. Since you still believe that he thinks, in his mind, that you have no right to tell the kid not to play wii, and, since he is a lawyer and would understand a conversation about rights, I would send him the following message:
- Dearest BF,
I believe that you might still be thinking that I do not have the right to tell the kid not to play wii, so I want to share my thoughts on it.
You are the kid's father and, as such, you have both the right and responsibility to make major decisions concerning the kid, such as the decisions about the kid's education/healthcare, etc. I acknowledge that right and am not trying to take it away from you.
When your kid is in my house, he is my guest, and I, as the hostess, have the right to set ground rules of behavior in my house. I was exercising that right when I limited the use of TV for playing wii.
Your confusion is that you are not seeing the difference between a hostess' right to set ground rules and the parent's right to tell the child what to do. I was not encroaching on your right to direct the course of your kid's life until majority; I was just exercising my right to peace and quiet in my house, and to do that, I had to limit the use of wii.
My general expectation of you as my bf, though, is that you would help me exercise my right to peace and quiet in my house by taking the initiative and communicating the rules of behavior in my house to your kid by yourself, so that I can be spared this duty. The rules of behavior are :
1-
2-
3-
***
The last part is only if you think you might invite them back; otherwise, omit.
I must add... what an idiot  . But do not put that in your letter to him. |
Thanks my dear "hamster-bamster"....
That's well said. You made it easy for me to understand the situation. He was so irrational and mad. He got to understand when they are at my house or my car, they must play my rules.
Yes I have set of rules and he doesn't like them. Like yesterday they were in my car and he was driving (since again my car is better than his), then he gives kids chocolotes and they were eating in the car. I got really pissed. because his son eats really messy and all his hands were covered with chocolotes and he made such a mess in my car. I got really upset and I told him "no eating in my car". we got into argue over that too. and I ended up being upset and telling him to bring his own car and I reminded him "this is my car and my rules.
I don't think he gets it at all!
He even invited his sister and whole family to my swimming pool while we were not there. The swimming pool is in the community and I have just one key to it (which is expensive if I loose it $100). He left my pool key (with my home key in the back yard for them. of course , he asked me if it's okay, but how I could say "no" when he was right on the phone with his sister and asking me there. I went to check the keys and I took my home key out. I was really pissed.