*** MAY TRIGGER - Funeral/Death ***

Feeling really sad tonight....

I just left my friend's FIL's viewing. Funerals are so hard for me because it brings back so many things from my dad's death that I've avoided. I haven't gone through all of the stages of grief and haven't really let myself...so when I go to funerals, it really stirs that pot.

My friend and I were talking with a group of people, and someone asked how her husband was handling it (He and I are also friends.). She said, "Not so good. I mean, I don't think he's handling it in a healthy way. He reminds me of YOU!"....and she pointed to me and then said, "Remember how you would listen to your dad's voice on your answering machine over and over and over again? He's doing the same thing - in a panic saying that he can't ever forget his dad's voice."....My heart just broke into a million pieces.

I feel so awful for him. And I feel so awful for me....being reminded of that time sucks, although I should be over it by now, it's been 6 years.