I've never wanted to SI but years ago my daughter had a problem with cutting. She was taking Abilify and it made her want to harm herself. I took her off this med & thank God the SI went away & has never returned. My question to you is do you think any of the meds you take are making you want to do this to yourself? And what if you beat up a tree or some other object instead of yourself? Would this help? I'm just trying to understand.