Interestingly, I was just thinking along the same lines in the context of make-up and body-hugging clothing.

When I was in high school, I had a female tutor. She had a daughter, slighly older than me. Once, she and her daughter, for fun, put make-up on my face. And, not "nude makeup" as posted by Lynn on the thread about make-up. No - the kind of make-up that you cannot miss. I did not like that, but there was no way to take it off, so I went home. I did not expect a happy reception, but the degree of unhappy reception was quite extreme.

When I arrived at home - and my extended family was visiting - they were all shocked. I was told that I looked as if trying to attract attention, which was reprehensible, and asked to never do that again, ever.

Likewise, no body-hugging clothing etc.

But, the thing is, I was not expected to be a nun - not at all.

I was expected to get lots and lots of male attention, but without trying to attract it via things like make-up or body-hugging clothing.

In essense, this meant that there was a game that I was supposed to play, and play by the rules, and the rules were "you are not allowed any attempts to attract attention, and yet you should be getting lots of attention, and if you are not getting lots of attention, then you are a loser and a disgrace to the family".

But that is exactly what you are saying - attracting attention makes getting attention easy, and accomplishing easy things is not rewarded by respect.

Same, right?