Hi ,so I haven't posted on the forums in a while.

so right now I am really struggling with my emotions and to keep my thoughts in control ,I feel a little unsafe but I think I am just about able to handle that at the moment.Alot is going on inside my head at the minute,voices are becoming hard to control,im seeing things that are starting to scare me and I feel like my mind is playing tricks on me.I am not on any medication because in the past I have been on Risperidone and it didn't work ,so now my mental health worker thinks that medication is a no go .Anyway ,I don't know how I am supposed to cope ? when my mental health worker isn't listening to me and I don't have anyone else for support.A part of me just wants life to be over and done with there is a tiny part of me that wants to keep doing,what am I supposed to do if that tiny part gets taken over by the big part of me that actually does want to die ?Im a reck right now ,all I can think about is hurting myself and taking serious risks and not thinking about the consequences .My suicidal thoughts are becoming worse but I think right now I am just about able to manage them :/ I think?Sometimes when I am walking down the road I would wish for a car or something to hit me ,sometimes I think about walking in-frount of the traffic ...Right now my emotions and thoughts are everywhere and I don't know what to do