hopeless...you know the guilt is part of the depression. what if you set a goal of just finding your way out of the depression before you judge yourself, your actions, your worth. Just suspend those things until the dark clouds have cleared. Ride it out, then process later? (ps. I will have to look back at this advice next time I am in the pit of hell and *TRY* to follow it). Just know that the extreme guilt you feel, the worthlessness, the "i shouldn't feel guilty because i have so much and everything should be fine" feelings are ones that I have experienced too. you have good qualities, you just cant see them right now. just ride out the storm. ((hugs)).