MAY TRIGGER.























How many of you self harm?
I do.

How long have you self harmed for?
Since I was roughly 7 years old - so 13 years.

what are your triggers?
Anything. Everything.

My OCD co occurs with my apparent "chronic and severe and life threatening self harm".

I have quite severe compulsions, some being cutting deeper and deeper, until it feels "enough", usually by which point I have severed nerves, muscle, gone down to bone, hit veins, arteries, requiring ambulances, police to restrain me and section me for treatment in general hospital, requiring immediate medical attention otherwise many a times, I could have died.

So, the compulsions/obsessions that go into my self harming is one of my massive triggers.

Obviously there are other triggers, it can be something small, something big, something bubbling inside and exploding, a mixture of different things, etc.


Do you know why you do it?
Yes and no.
To relieve the suffering.
To quieten the voices.
To help.
To calm down.
To punish.
To go deeper and deeper until it successfully kills me.

Sometimes, I don't know though.

Because of how severe my self harm is, the next time I engage in it, I have been told I will most likely end up killing myself,
I've nearly died multiple times, and sometimes it scares me, I scare me,
but part of me wishes for it...

I engage in multiple self harm methods, some of which are rare, so I won't disclose, and obvious ones,
cutting, burning, pulling my hair out, punching myself, punching things, picking at wounds/interfering with healing, biting myself, poisoning, overdosing, etc.

I'm going into a specialist hospital for possibly up to 2 years due to how "high risk" I am,
and honestly, the next time I self harm, I do hope it kills me.

The constant suffering and struggle just to get through an hour, a minute, a second, with the voices screaming, with external stimuli making things even harder, with internal stimuli, everything and anything can trigger me, whether my own mind, or things in the outside world.

It seems a never ending battle,
a battle which I will lose.

That's probably enough now.