I'm sorry your friend betrayed your trust. I hope that does not happen with friend 2. (Hugs) hope talking to your t is also helpful tomorrow. I know I go back and forth between wanting to tell my t stuff, and wanting never to see him again. I think csa can really mess a person up... shoot me a message if you ever want to chat. I can relate in a few things (the self harm, the csa, the lack of trust, and new-found focus on dealing with the csa)... Good luck with it all.