Innerzone: congrats on surviving your day! Honestly, I bet that sounded insincere but I mean it sincerely - that sounds like a really rough day. Good job on calling the doc! I hope you got more sleep last night, and wake up feeling more rested and more calm. I love having my evenings by myself to calm myself down - even if I've got all sorts of emotions raging around in my head, I can relax because I know I'm not going to spout them out at someone who doesn't deserve it, and there's no pressure to pretend or anything!
StillLeft: I'm not sure if there is ever a total end to sanity. Just keep stretching it out - I think it's like air because it will expand to fit the container it's in. So just keep wandering around until you bump into another little pocket of sanity. It'll happen!
Storm: I think one of the funny things about loneliness is that no one else tends to notice that someone is lonely. And if they DO notice that someone is lonely? They're a lot more likely to put the effort in to try and help them NOT feel lonely. It's just that people very rarely notice. *hugs* I would hang out with you if I could. I tend to be a one-woman entertainment unit so if you didn't feel like talking it'd be a-ok. I hope that you are feeling better today. Got any good friends that you could make a phone call to?
Mandrec: I am so sorry that you are having trouble finding supportive people who will believe you
I believe you! The pdocs should at least understand how great we are at faking it... and that our faking is usually to appear MORE calm and normal than we are! I am angry on your behalf that they aren't listening to the words you're saying. If you're all over the place, it's not like you can go there and SHOW them all the different sides at once. Are you anything like me? I tend to get SO keyed up about going to appointments that when I go to an appointment... I am essentially in LOCK DOWN and don't really show much emotion at all. If I do show an emotion, it'll be a calm/happy one because that's what I present when I'm in a terrified lock down mode.