Wow Hamster.... Light bulb moment! Thank you for that. I've been trying to figure out why I am reacting so poorly to all this... And I think you hit the nail on the head. He IS trying to cancel it out- going so far as to allege that our son wasnt planned. That's not true and I was furious with him over that - but only saw it as his attempts to make his new wife feel better ( she did trap him with a surprise pregnancy that wasnt supposed to happen ). When she told me that our son wasnt planned, I was alternately hurt he would lie that way, and angry that the lies were furthered by her. Of course, I dug up old chat messages between us (we used to IM during work) and immediately forwarded them. You would have thought I started world war 3. I told him I didn't appreciate him attempting to rewrite history. So yes, that must be what's eating me - because we are no longer together, he's "killing" me in his mind... And our son, by proxy. He was furious when I told him I wouldn't be allowing my husband to adopt our son. He's even angrier that I haven't changed my last name... Though he knew in the divorce I was keeping it. As of today, we are still being kind to one another. I wonder if that will change when the box arrives.