Mandrec: I am so sorry that you are having trouble finding supportive people who will believe you I believe you! The pdocs should at least understand how great we are at faking it... and that our faking is usually to appear MORE calm and normal than we are! I am angry on your behalf that they aren't listening to the words you're saying. If you're all over the place, it's not like you can go there and SHOW them all the different sides at once. Are you anything like me? I tend to get SO keyed up about going to appointments that when I go to an appointment... I am essentially in LOCK DOWN and don't really show much emotion at all. If I do show an emotion, it'll be a calm/happy one because that's what I present when I'm in a terrified lock down mode.