My first thought is that you and your wife need some counseling to at least try and work out where this relationship is going wrong in an attempt to rectify things. Your wife may also benefit from some individual therapy to work out what is going on and wrong with her life. Obviously if she can resolve her own personal issues then it will make for a happier marriage. If your home is a toxic environment filled with a lot of conflict and unhappiness, this is not a healthy space for your children and you need to address this as well and not necessarily through a separation at this stage. I agree with Leeds when she says you should consider family counseling. Don't leave them out of the loop but speak openly and honestly with them and involve them in the process. It's a very difficult situation which unfortunately can't be resolved overnight so you need to be strong and hang in their and be intelligent, rather than emotional, about your choices and actions. Best of luck.