I have heard that getting disability for a mental illness is VERY difficult. I recently applied and am waiting to hear back, but everyone is telling em to expect to be denied at least the first time, if not the second also.
I hear you about being frustrated by turning blue in the face trying to explain to everyone that it really DOES effect your functioning, and just because some days are ok (or some weeks) doesn't mean you can necessarily work or be productive because it always comes back. I tend to present well, so when I finally break, everyone is wondering what the heck happened, but I was screaming the whole time trying to tell them I was falling apart. (hugs)
I have heard getting a disability lawyer (one that specifically deals with disability claims - they don't charge you unless you get it, and then they take a percentage of your award is what I understand, tho I have yet to look into it) helps a lot because they know how to respond to things, and how to keep on top of filing deadlines and such.
I'm sorry your husband is also not supportive. That must be even more difficult to deal with. I know I would have been lost during my last 2 hospital stays if my wife did not call me and come visit. (some of the previous ones, they had me so drugged up I just slept and found it hard to keep up with the constant demand of phone calls and visits).
Anyway, I hope you can appeal and maybe get a lawyer this time. It's a difficult process to keep fighting for the things you need and deserve. Good luck!