I can NOT speak for the OP, but when I was at my sickest I couldn't reason well enough to understand the concept of choice, heck I couldn't even understand how to pay my bills. Also there were a bunch I couldn't do because it was too mentally or physically challenging. My whole system was exhausted. I couldn't just go do things. When I really needed a boost I stood in the ice cold shower for my body to work up some adrenaline then I could use that for like an hour then I was back into severe fatigue.

Depression isn't the same for everyone but there are few that are cured by thinking happy thoughts.