Quote:
Originally Posted by APV83
As for the whole "subject" vs. "object" thing I just really don't understand how to use those terms correctly. Let's just not use them.
I don't necessarily wanna call it a fetish. I only want a partner to engage in the activities I decribed in my OP just so that I can experience some variety in sexual stimulation. But thanks for saying what you could to make me feel comfortable with this interest of mine 
As for condoms I will only use them with one-night stand partners if I choose to have any more one-night stands. A long-term partner must get tested for STIs and I will only be intimate with her at all if she tests negative. I really can't stand all the condom preaching. Elsewhere on PsychCentral I have seen people complaining about how much condoms reduce sensation. |
I can definitely see your confusion, and wholeheartedly agree with your suggestion to just avoid using this terminology altogether, and just want to remind you that the person who started talking about being viewed as an
object was you
. Also, while we can skip the terms altogether, the
indignation that was present in your calling what the woman did "viewing you as a sex object" does need to be explored, because the indignation was entirely out of place - the woman did nothing bad to you at all.
I also agree with your switching from "fetish", which is a loaded term, to an "interest of yours", which is a totally neutral and open-minded way to put it. I think that really is the most important positive outcome of the whole thread.
When you say "long-term partner", you probably mean "an exclusive long-term partner" ("exclusive" and "long-term" are orthogonal, unrelated characteristics of sexual relationships). STI testing is not failure-free, and so, with your plan on not using condoms, you will reduce the likelihood of catching STI's, but not down to zero. Make sure you have been vaccinated for Hep B, btw.