I'm having a really rough time. My finances are really really tight. I'm going to have to figure something out bc I am beyond broke. Although not in debt, which I guess is good. I had to ask my parents for a little bit of help. They offered as much as I need, which is super nice and wonderfully helpful, but I feel like a failure. I always rely on them.

Had I not made a bad decision putting money into a house that my ex got in the divorce, I'd have plenty. I got screwed and I am kicking myself, years later, I lost my money and everything, the life I had, went down the tubes.

Now I'm alone, with no one in the city with me- no family and only a few friends I see a few times a year. I have a job that is challenging, but also drives me nuts. And doesn't pay enough for me to live on...and I have a masters degree for goods sake.

I have a headache, I feel so alone, and I just don't even want to exist anymore. Random- I saw a stray cat today and felt so bad for it. It just made me want to cry. The poor thing, no one to love him, or take care of him. I don't know why I feel so intensely for other animals and those who are sick or poor, but I don't give a crap about myself.

Today has been the worst day of my depression.....ever. I just can't wrap my head around why I am here and what purpose I have on this earth. It all seems so darn pointless.