Thanks for your thoughtful comment. I may send my former T a letter after some time. I think she can't handle transference issues that are erotic in nature and is embarrassed and humiliated that I attributed the unbearably of the trans to her well meaning hugs. Especially in that she has met my wife and they shared mutual respect. But, never the less I paid her to be the strong one and she wimped out and it messed me up after ten years of providing me with kindness over the loss of my son and the long term depression. Thanks again.