I'm not even all that depressed, but I have no desire to have sex, and I am anxious about the thought of it... I'm not on any meds, so it's not that... I just... I don;t know. And my wife is all about it these days (especially since it's something we are working on in marriage counseling). I cringe at the thought right now, and I don't want her to touch me. I'm just not there right now. I think it's a combination of very present memories of some csa, and trying to tackling it in my own individual therapy, and really not feeling comfortable in my own skin, but I hate saying no all the time... It's freaking me out to the point of wanting to cry right now, because she is so into it, and I just want my space...
Maybe I'll just drink some. It has a history of making me more loose and actually advance for a change...

(how eerie is it that she texts me asking if I'm afraid to go to the bedroom because she is so horny right now as I hit "send" on this post...?)