I am in a 2 year relationship with someone i love very much, however, he is bi-polar and when hes down, i get really down too because his emotions effect me so deeply. im in tears right now because lately he has been so depressed and suicidal. Hes always sad, and when i know that it automatically brings me down. I am so scared and concerned all the time. He's seeing a therapist but he refuses to tell her that he's suicidal because therapists have a legal obligation to do something about it and since hes already been hospitalized and he doesnt want to go back there again.

Im so upset, its hard for me to tell if im staying with him just to help him through this or if i really am staying for good reasons. I dont want to leave him because of this, I want to help him beat it, but i dont know how. I love him, i really do, and that should be enough, but its so hard, it hurts me so much. I feel trapped in the relationship and like i dont have the option to leave without some dire consequences. I really want to stay with him, but theres so much ****** going on its hard for me to not doubt how i am feeling.

I am doubting everything about it lately and I wish i could help him but i dont know how. Its completely frustrating and i find myself in tears or just really anxious about it when im not busy. I just want things to be the way they were sometimes. Because of his disorder he tends to make rash decisions and he quit his job the other day which really upsets me. It keeps happenings and it makes me think of "well what if we end up married some day???" I dont want to be with someone who cant hold a job, i want someone who has a good steady job who can support a family, i dont want this unpredictability in my life. It hurts me way to much. He already cheated on me once, and that was one of those impulse things too,and i forgave him for that, but it is still a factor in the future..what if? You know? As someone who is battling anxiety and depression myself, its hard for me to have to deal with all of his stuff too, i need to figure out how to block his emotions so they dont hurt me so much. He said that is something i should work on, and meanwhile he is going to work on getting help and keeping his job and getting meds and all of this crazy stuff that should've been done a long time ago. Its just so much pressure on me.

He doesnt really have very many friends that he wants to hang out with because they either all annoy him or do drugs which he has reformed from, so that leaves me as his main person to hang out with, and i have other friends to hang out with, mostly male friends, and he gets jealous when i go hang out with them. Its so hard to be someones sole support, and its tearing me apart. Someone please help

in need of x's and o's

kate

all things shall pass...even life.