LMo, i could have written your first post. i have two stepsons. they were 8 and 10 when i married their father. we were married 16 years. after the divorce, the ex used all sorts of emotional weapons to keep them from me. gave them new cars to keep them from coming out at Christmas.....you know, little things like that.

i flew to the towns where they lived and visited anyway. he was furious with them that they still communicated with me. he finally "won" and i didn't hear for several years. then out of the blue, the youngest traced me down and invited me to his WEDDING!!!

and he told me on the phone every single way that i had influenced him while we lived together. the photography, the way of looking at life, the animals, the food, the education, etc. all of it. it was so emotional.

i didn't go to the wedding as both of his parents (and a new wife) were going to be there, but he and i agreed that i was there in spirit.....just as i had actually been in the balcony when his oldest brother married.

kids are just kids. they get pulled all different directions and have to grow up to realize what was really going on.

obviously, he loves you and you were a very good influence in his life. detach from what the ex did and the bad feelings he caused you to experience and just "feel" the fact that this child contacted YOU......as mine did me!!!! love ya, pat