I know exactly how you feel. I am 56 and have been depressed since I was a child. I've done everything to get better and nothing helps. Sometimes it's better for awhile but then it hits so hard I don't think I can take the pain anymore. I have major depression. It has affected every aspect of my life. Yesterday, I retired from my job of 20 years because of my depression. What's sad is that you know it's never going to get better.