I am up for air from the hole I am in right now. I am sorta numb. You are absolutely right with your advice. I know that. And I knew that before I started telling her anything. We have been friends for 6 years. As I am 24 years old, thats 1/4 of my life. I have been dealing with bipolar or w/e this is since I was 14. She didnt know how messed up I was until a few months ago. Its the first time I was ever really honest. 6 years I put a face on, and made excuses when I couldn't. She is the only person since a teacher and a guidance counsellor in high school that I have told about any of this. (excluding my parents that know that its there, but have no idea how bad it gets) I knew, I really knew that I am too ****ed in the head to tell anyone what really goes on. This is my burden to bear and I know that. I am who I am, and I have learned to ride it out, and deal with this on my own. A down just hit me this one night, and I broke down and told her about it. She wanted to help. I should have known better, right then and there. I should have known to keep my mouth shut. My biggest regret in life is telling her. I just ruined the only real friendship I have ever had. And yeah, maybe that wasnt a good bye, only time will tell. But I know that I cant take back the things that I have said. And I know that our friendship will never ever be the same. This isnt over emotional me talking. I feel clear headed. Just numb.