Sadly you've fallen into what all too easily becomes a wife's & mother's lot in life. You've been such a successful caregiver to others--but you haven't reserved any time for self-care. Now you're feeling ... what? That you've failed yourself? That your family has moved on without you?
Whatever ... It's time to reclaim your life. If you don't have a good support network, I'd really suggest a good therapist. This forum ought to giver you some pointers and coping skills as well.
Keep coming back & keep posting. You've got a good handle on the problem, not look for ways of approaching it.
You can make this lots better.
Roadie