Thanks Petoonie!

yes, you're right about that. I waffle between 'he is choosing' versus 'he has a brain condition which causes this'. I'm much more of the 'tough love' mindset, but everything I have read here over the years and have discussed with professionals leads me to want to try the compassionate route.

Where I get REALLY stuck is: how do I make it right for both of us, including me? When he drops his responsibilities, the consequences are also mine. I try to stay disengaged so that he can feel independent and in control, but I don't know how to protect myself from the consequences.

ARGH - this sounds exactly like my very first post that I made here 4 years ago. I have gotten NOWHERE

Must be how he feels

I think I'm calling my doctor and asking for meds again. I just don't know what I can do to soothe myself. I've been living with this for far too long